| 1. |
I am not trying to engage you in
a game of tag when I dart in front of your truck, I’m merely trying to cross the
road. This being the case, I’d appreciate it if you’d slow down, because even at
my top speed of 35 mph I can’t outrun your truck |
| 2. |
I cannot leap over tall buildings
in a single bound, I can only leap 6 feet straight up into the air. I can, however, leap
20 feet forward in a single bound, changing directions with every leap. |
| 3. |
My fur is not exceedingly soft or
plush, and my flesh is not particularly tender or tasty. In other words, if you were
planning to wear me or eat me you’d be sorely disappointed. So don’t bother. |
| 4. |
My feet will not bring you luck
– on the contrary, get too close and my back feet will pummel you senseless. And
measuring in at five inches, they are far too unwieldy for a key chain. So leave my feet
alone. |
| 5. |
I do not deliver baskets of
colored eggs on Easter Sunday or on any other day. I don’t even like eggs. I eat
grasses, shrubs, and the occasional cactus. But never eggs. |
| 6. |
I spend less time engaging in
activities that result in pregnancy than I spend actually being pregnant. I am nearly
always pregnant; I have four or five litters of one to six leverets a year. That's a lota
leverets – which doesn’t exactly leave me much time for fun. |
| 7. |
It is a misnomer to refer to
"eating like a rabbit" as eating just a little. We black-tailed jackrabbits eat
a lot. I can eat as much grass in 15 days as a big dumb cow eats in a day. A cow is
certainly 15 times bigger than little ol’ me, who only weighs six pounds or so. One
more reason to eat cows, not jackrabbits (see #3 above). |
| 8. |
When you see someone pull a
rabbit out of a hat, it is just a trick, not magic. There is no such thing as magic! And
rabbits don’t live in hats, we dig shallow ditches in the dirt and line them with fur
and leaves. You’d find me sleeping under a bush before you’d find me in a hat! |
| 9. |
Insert your favorite leporid myth
here. Trust me, it is simply not true.
|
| 10. |
I don’t stand motionless in
an effort to become invisible. I know I can’t turn invisible! At such times I am
merely pondering the nature of the universe, the meaning of life, or perhaps where my next
meal can be had. So leave me be! |
